“Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” This famous one-liner couldn’t be further from the truth.
Words are filled with meaning and power. It is no coincidence that our Creator spoke words to design and fashion the universe. Words have been used throughout history to inspire nations, resolve conflict, and express love. Each time I stand before people to preach God’s written Word, I am acutely aware of the responsibility of using words carefully and clearly. Whether in a speech to hundreds or a text message to a single person, our words make a lasting imprint, positively or negatively, on the hearts of those who hear.
Words may never break a bone, but they can either promote healing or create deep scars.
Words Express the Heart, Therefore We Must Listen.
Words are one important vehicle by which we communicate our thoughts and deepest emotions to others. Whether it is the joys or frustrations of life, words, and the ways we communicate those words, are expressions of our hearts and minds. Interestingly, Jesus is described as the “Word” as he comes into the world to express God’s heart to humanity (John 1). Jesus’s sinless life was the expression of God’s holiness, and Jesus’s death was the expression of God’s love for mankind. God didn’t choose to express himself so that he could be ignored by his creation. Neither do others express themselves so that they can be ignored.
As a culture, we are quick to express ourselves verbally or through social media, but we tend to be slow to listen. We demand that others hear us, yet we rarely hear them. The distractions of iPhones, social media, and busy minds hinder our willingness and ability to listen.
If we are to love well, we must learn to listen well. You likely become irritated when others are too distracted to listen to what you’re saying. You’ve been there: the person who constantly checks their phone or looks around you as you speak. It’s maddening. Yet, how many of us have contracted the same epidemic? Many of the issues plaguing marriages, families, governments, and politics could be remedied with a genuine willingness to listen without immediately putting the other in the worst possible light. One of the greatest gifts we can give others is a listening ear. Words express the heart; therefore, we must listen well.
Words Reveal the Heart, Therefore We Must Examine.
James, the half-brother of Jesus, warns us to be aware of both the power and hypocritical nature of our words. He reminds us, “With our tongue we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so” (James 3:9-10). Words not only express the heart, but they reveal the content of the heart.
The renewed emphasis on clean eating is notable, but Jesus tells us that it’s what comes out of the mouth that truly defiles us. Constant complaining, cussing, and character-assassination of others reveals a foulness of heart that needs touched by the cleansing of Christ. What proceeds from the mouth is an MRI of the soul. Perhaps we need to not only be better listeners to others but better listeners to ourselves so that we can accurately examine our heart health.
Honest Examination Leads to Healthy Expression
An honest examination and transformation of the heart allows for healthy expression in our conversations with others. From the healthy heart flows healing words. Whereas the selfish heart will not listen well because it demands the limelight, the healthy heart doesn’t need to take centerstage in every conversation. Instead, it seeks the welfare of others. While a diseased heart uses words to manipulate or abuse, the healthy heart desires to speak blessing and loving correction.
The bitter heart hurts others, including those within our homes, through careless words spoken in anger or gossip, while the heart touched by grace exhibits that grace in conversation. How much more blessed would our homes, churches, schools, and workplaces be if we listened attentively and used words to build up instead of letting complaint and gossip flow? “Death and life are in the power of the tongue,” so let’s choose our words wisely (Proverbs 18:21).
Adam Brewer is pastor at Glory Fellowship Church in Jasper.
